Borrowed Breath

Branches that are pruned
Will never fully grow back
But fruit will flourish

History can be boring. Personal stories can be dry. And yet, in “The Sword of the Lord,” Andrew Himes successfully blends both history and personal anecdotes into a craftily woven tale of his own journey and his family’s legacy in American history and in the fundamentalist movement.
 
The past, both historic distant and his own, come to life in this accessible tale of the ups and downs of Christians in America.
 
Due to my own personal upbringing in a church steeped in fundamentalism and legalism, and seeing both positives and negatives of Christians who were adamantly convinced of their “rightness,” I found this book very refreshing. Many of the stories struck a familiar chord within me.
 
I believe that human nature tends to be reactionary. Often the decisions and actions of one individual or group are actually in direct reaction to another. As I read this book, two reactions jumped out at me. First was Andrew’s reaction to the effects of fundamentalism. He was drawn to it’s positives at an early age, and then reacted strongly to the hypocrisy he witnessed within its ranks. But more prominent on the pages of this book is fundamentalism’s reaction to the world around it: the world of non-Christians; the world of liberal and modern Christians; and racial tensions in the South among others.

Fittingly, the final chapter is not a conclusion. Rather it is a continuation of the journey on which Andrew finds himself and invites others to join. 
 
If you want a book that is part historical, part autobiographical and part soul-searching, then you would enjoy “The Sword of the Lord.” I highly recommend it.

Tonight, while rocking little Philip to sleep and singing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” to him, I whispered to him at least 10 times, “I love you SO MUCH!”

And then I said to him, “I have no idea how Abraham or God did it.”

Add it to the list of things I don’t know.

The purest man ever born,
Here forsaken and forlorn
Tortured and racked with pain
Divinity enfleshed and slain
Upon a rugged tree
We now call Calvary.
Why, we ask, why
Did He have to die?
Is mankind that evil?
Is sin that primeval,
Are we that fallen and obscene
That God Himself must intervene?

The incarnation affirms,
And my conscience confirms
That only divinity enfleshed
Can break the bond enmeshed
Within this frame of dust,
This body of lies and lust.

And so Immanuel
Unlocked the keys of hell.
As His body expired,
Evil man conspired,
Unaware
That his last prayer
For their forgiveness
Would be manifest
In His power revealed,
From His grave sealed;
His resurrection,
His insurrection,
Mankind set free,
Mass escapee
From Satan’s arm,
From hell’s alarm,
From sin’s outcome,
Death is undone.

Jesus is alive,
And only He can revive
And bring to life
This sin, this strife
This separation,
This accusation,
And redeem for His glory,
For His eternal story,
Life from death,
This borrowed breath,
Resurrected and redeemed,
Unvalued and unesteemed,
Yet in the eyes of Jesus Christ,
Worth life and death, worth the price.

Hope,
When faith is gone,
And lingers the dawn,
Hope,
When storms rage,
And wars wage,
Hope,
Cling to the promise,
When yawns the abyss,
Hope.

Hope,
Through tear-blinded eyes,
Through cloud-darkened skies,
Hope,
When trapped in grief,
And wrapped in unbelief,
Hope,
When all comes undone,
Refuse to abandon
Hope.

Hope,
When temptations ensnare,
When enticed to despair,
Hope,
When all else fails,
And doubts assail,
Hope,
In the One who keeps
Each tear you weep,
Hope.

Hope in God, dear soul.
And relinquish all control.
To the God of hope.

Last week, we had our second miscarriage. It’s hard to describe the emotion of hope dashed, of anticipation squelched. We lost our first baby in June of 2008. Those were difficult times. Our first miscarriage was devastating. It was like someone was punching you in the gut, repeatedly, for days.

Then the Lord answered our prayers and gave us our wonderful son, Philip Thomas, two years later. He is such a blessing to us. He fills our lives with joy. He is the fulfillment of a promise.

When we found out we were pregnant again, we were very excited, but cautious. We did not want to tell everyone until we had a checkup with our doctor. Two nights before our appointment, Michelle started bleeding. So we went to see our doctor the next day. It was an exhausting day of being bounced around from the doctor’s office to several diagnostic labs that were too busy to take Michelle’s blood, to the hospital where the ultrasound confirmed our fears, and to a diagnostic lab that was finally able to take and test her blood. That night, Philip got more hugs and kisses than he ever got before. He did not seem to mind.

The next day, we went to the doctor’s office again for one final checkup. And then we went to the hospital for the D&E procedure. Medically, everything went fine. Emotionally, it was draining. I was too tired to even cry.

That was a week ago. Today, I went back to work. It was harder than I thought.

But we believe in a God who hears the cries of His children, a God who is present in pain and sorrow, a God who restores and redeems.

So if you think about us, please pray for us.

The word “hope” got us through the years between our first miscarriage and the birth of our son. We are clinging to hope once again.

HT: Peter Rollins

Heretic
A Stage Script by Nathanael Manthey
Adapted from Peter Rollins’ parable “The Heretic” from Chapter 33 of his book “The Orthodox Heretic.”

 Scene One
(A group of distinguished-looking older gentlemen are seated at a table. They are facing a man standing before them with his hands cuffed together behind his back. His head is raised high. He is not ashamed to be here. A guard stands behind the handcuffed man.)

(One of the older men, clearly the Lead Prosecutor stands to his feet holding a paper. He dons his glasses, looks over the paper, and then addresses the handcuffed man over his glasses.)

LEAD PROSECUTOR
John Miller, you have been accused of heresy. We have reviewed the file of your writings and your preaching. We have listened to witnesses share what you have said about the character of God. And we, a panel of your superiors, have arrived at the unanimous judgment that you have presented a false view of God. You have distorted his image and have led others to have an incorrect view of God. How do you plead?

JOHN
I have also heard the evidence against me, sir. And since I find no error in the witnesses’ testimony or in the facts of my case that you’ve presented, then I plead guilty.

LEAD PROSECUTOR
As you know, the charge of heresy carries with it a death penalty. The members of this panel have generously determined that if you recant these wrong views of God, we shall grant you your freedom, providing you swear to never teach them again. Should you refuse to renounce them, we have no choice but to see that the judgment is carried out and you are put to death.

JOHN
I arrived at these conclusions through careful study of the Scriptures and countless hours of prayer, as well as conversations with those with whom I agree and those with whom I disagree. I stand by my writings and teachings and refuse to recant.

(The panel of distinguished gentlemen murmurs to each other angrily. The Lead Prosecutor removes his glasses and stares at John.)

LEAD PROSECUTOR
Very well. Since you are clearly hard-headed and unrepentant, and you have scorned the mercy and grace of this compassionate council, you leave us no other recourse than to sentence you to death. We are a civilized culture. So you will not be burnt at the stake or shot by a firing squad or even electrocuted in an electric chair. You will instead receive a lethal injection. Do you have any final words?

JOHN
Yes, sir, I do. I have a request. Upon the day of my execution, I would ask that I be able to choose one person from the crowd of witnesses to administer the injection.

(The Lead Prosecutor sits down and addresses the panel of distinguished gentlemen in a whisper. The hushed conversation goes on for a few minutes. Then, the Lead Prosecutor stands to his feet and addresses John.)

LEAD PROSECUTOR
This is a unique request. However, we feel that since it was the common people to whom you broadcasted your heretical views of God, it only makes sense that one of those you attempted to deceive should carry out the sentence of death.

(The Lead Prosecutor bangs a gavel and John is led away by the guard.) 

Scene Two
(The stage is set with a gurney with a nurse and a doctor standing to the side.) 

(At this point, the crowd watching the play actually becomes the witnesses present at the execution. The Lead Prosecutor enters Stage Left and addresses the crowd.)

LEAD PROSECUTOR
Good citizens of Christendom. You are here to witness the execution of the heretic, John Miller.

(John, along with a guard holding his handcuffed wrists behind him, enters Stage Right.)

LEAD PROSECUTOR
John Miller, you have been found guilty of the charge of heresy by a panel of your superiors. Your writings and preaching have promoted a wrong view of God. You have been sentenced to death. Do you have any final words?

JOHN
Yes, sir. I only wish to say that God’s love is bigger than your limited theology. He loves me and forgives me. He loves you, and I forgive you.

LEAD PROSECUTOR
May God have mercy on your soul. I gave my word that you could choose someone from the crowd of witnesses to administer your lethal injection. Please make your selection.

JOHN
Thank you, sir.

LEAD PROSECUTOR
(Addresses the crowd watching the play)
In order to carry out this sentence, the one among you who is chosen by this heretic will have the privilege and civic duty of administering the injection and once for all silencing the heresy of John Miller.

(John, accompanied by the guard holding his handcuffs, begins to slowly work his way through the onlookers. He takes his time, looking deeply into the eyes of those who meet his gaze.)

JOHN
I am looking for someone who has a perfect view of God, who has clearly understood God’s character and who has never promoted a false image of God. Let him who has a flawless understanding of the Divine come forward and take my life.

I’ve always had hearing issues. I’ve had tubes put in my ears three times, the last time being about 13 years ago. And right now, I have moderate hearing loss. One of the things I find most frustrating about my hearing problem is watching movies. For some reason, the dialogue is noticeably lower than the action and the soundtrack. So we turn the volume up for me to hear what they’re saying, only to be blasted a few moments later by music or action noise.

Due to this contrast, we watch movies with subtitles. This allows us to keep the volume at a moderate level while making sure I don’t miss any key parts in a conversation between the characters.

But I’ve noticed something from watching movies this way. Often times, the words appear on the screen before the character speaks them. So when the director has the actor pause for dramatic effect, the viewer already knows what the character will say after the pause. The element of surprise is gone. Also, the inflection and intone of the actor’s voice and their body language take a back seat to the words on the screen. So even though I’m gaining much by not missing any dialogue, I am actually losing something in the viewing experience of the movie.

This also happens in life. There are times when we draw conclusions about a person. And because of this, we feel like we already know where they’re coming from and what they’re going to say. So rather than listening fully to the person speaking, noting the nuances of their voice, listening to their heart behind their words, I shut them out because I know what they’re going to say.

This seems to happen a lot in religious and political discussions. Perhaps this is why we are told it is not polite to talk about these topics.

I’ve noticed in certain theological debates, some have already drawn a conclusion about another. And so they act as if they’ve read the subtitles and are merely waiting for the voice to catch up so that they can proclaim their disagreement.

I find this tendency in my own life, and I’ve definitely seen it recently online in some discussions regarding a certain pastor’s latest book. And I must say that I find it a bit frustrating.

Perhaps we can act like humans beings and actually listen to each other, and pay attention to what others are saying, and maybe even take them at their word.
Just a thought.

“. . . at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say, ‘We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven,’ and the Lost, ‘We were always in Hell.’ And both will speak truly.”

(C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce p. 68)

“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’”

(Lewis p. 72)