Borrowed Breath

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
   Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting!

(Psalm 139.23-24 ESV)

This is a great prayer. No matter what I’m going through, this is a fitting prayer. And isn’t it interesting that this appeal for God to search David follows his prayer against his enemies? In verses 19 through 22 read:

Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
   O men of blood, depart from me!
They speak against you with malicious intent;
   your enemies take your name in vain!
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
   And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred;
   I count them my enemies.

It’s almost as if David, in praying a curse upon the enemies of God, who were then his enemies, stopped and asked the Lord to search out the motives of his heart for asking for such calamity to fall upon a fellow human being. Now I know that the Psalms and the rest of the Old Testament are full of similar verses and stories. I know these are not isolated verses. But part of me wonders if David, a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13.22) checked himself before he went off on his enemies. 

There is a vein of Christianity today that is more concerned about being right than it is about being Christlike. These religious people find it easy to separate themselves from “evil” men. And so they are able to label those who do not follow their way as enemies of God, and so therefore their enemies as well. So they use verbiage that is hateful and spiteful and even damning when they speak of these enemies.

But part of me wonders if they’ve ever followed David‘s train of thought in this Psalm. Have they ever, in their passionate and zealous prayers against their enemies, stopped and asked the Lord to search them and try them and show them the wickedness that is within them.

When I catch a glimpse of God’s boundless grace in my life, I must extend grace to you. When I see just a portion of the things for which my God is forgiving me, I must forgive you. When I realize just a hint of the ceaseless mercy that is pouring upon me from my Lord, I must be merciful to you.

Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust…Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Matt. 5.44-45 and Luke 6.27-28 ESV).

Lord help.