undeserving
Sep 9th, 2009 by Nathanael
I don’t want to live anymore with the nagging sense of how much I do not deserve the grace and mercy of God. Sure it’s true that I don’t deserve it. But it’s mine. Rather than meditating on how much I do not deserve it, I want to receive it with gratitude and walk in it and let it change me.
I don’t deserve my wife’s love. I don’t. But if I moped around everyday telling her how much I don’t deserve her love, she would get upset with me. And rightly so. She would assure me that her love is mine, regardless of merit or lack thereof. So instead, I receive her love with gratitude. And I pray that the Lord would enable me to love her as He loves His bride, laying down His life for her.
This morning, a dear brother gave me a hug. I didn’t deserve it. But I received it and it warmed my very soul.
So I am determined (for what that’s worth) to stop focusing on my unworthiness and to instead meditate on Jesus Christ.
Only then can I truly rejoice in the extravagant grace and excessive mercy that He is pouring all over me.
The definition of mercy is unmerited favor.
So by its very definition, it is clear I do not deserve it.
Therefore, to say I don’t deserve mercy is redundant.
Add it to the list of things I don’t know but am learning.
Good thoughts. I think too murch time focussed on “self”, even in a deprecatory way, is still a form of egoism. The shift of focus from my “undeserving” to rejoicing in Jesus’s love & mercy is one we all need to make.
Joseph,
This is so true.
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Shalom